i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
