He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
