Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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