To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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