therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
