I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize