That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My bed smells like the plague
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
