he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
