don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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