Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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