i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
