I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
