just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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