Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
