I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
