I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
