I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
