His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
