So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
try to milk me bitch
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
