I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and she was petting her beer can
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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