I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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