Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
