I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
