More tranny stories later!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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