I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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