Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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