Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
