Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
