Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
