oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
