i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
