I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
