I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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