he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
