Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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