So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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