He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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