I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
