he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
