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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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