Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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