I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
