come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
