Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's the barista slut.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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