Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
