i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
