Sry I called you an 8
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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