college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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