he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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