How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
