Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
