Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
