My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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