i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
