That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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