I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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