You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
