god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
