So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
