also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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